Most people know I work with Ibogaine, but all the plant medicines are such magnificent teachers. Ibogaine has been for me my most beautiful mirror of my own truth. And did I study for it how to work with it? No. Did I feel to work with it? Yes. Did I drunk Ibogaine many times, yes, because again I felt to feel and to know this spirit fully.
So yes many people asked me questions: how do you know how to serve Ibogaine? Did you do any training for this. In the beginning when I started to work with medicines, yes I was insecure, because I also knew people would ask me about my background. But lucky as I am I also know how the mirror works and this means, when I am insecure about something then the outside will react on that frequency. So yes in the beginning I got questions, did you study to help and guide people? And my answer was honest, I said no I didn’t, I studied my own vibration and if it makes you feel good that I have a certificate then I can print one. People reacted like oh no if you say you can do it, then you can do it.
I am absolutely aware that the outside is me and the moment I face my outside with complete honesty, it means I face myself in complete honesty. So these kind of questions I never ever get again and if I get them I laugh about it. Because for me a certificate is only a paper and for me it doesn’t mean anything. For me the feeling I get with the person that is for me the answer. I mean you can work for 5 years in a shop selling clothes, but it doesn’t mean you have a feeling for it. You only have worked there for so long. I don’t trust a certificate I trust the VIBE I get with a certain person. I mean people can say anything, but words are just words, I trust the intention, the frequency behind those words.
For me you need to have a feeling, a feeling of love for what you do. When you love what you do you will vibrate that on the outer and this is what people feel as well and then the trust is there. And of course then I got the other test, a certain comment: you don’t look like a medicine woman. This is also what I told my shaman years ago. He told me you are here to serve Ibogaine, you are like walking Ibogaine, walking truth. I told him, but people wont believe me because I look artificial. Now I know this was my insecurity, because now I am proud when people are surprised, because this means I don’t label myself as spiritual, as a medicine woman. And who is suggesting that someone that serves medicines has to look a certain way, or cannot look sophisticated or cannot enjoy nice holidays, good food. This is for me a false belief system. I mean for me the red flags appears when a person tells me they are a healer and they don’t have any financial support for themselves. I mean money is energy, like coffee is energy. So if you cannot feel abundant you cannot teach me the feeling of abundance.
My belief system is that I can do what I feel to do and what feels good for me. Because what in the end feels good for me will also feel good for the other, as the other is me. And if not, then there is a lesson in it for the other, like for me. If someone does something and I don’t like it, I ask myself why I don’t like this, because this feeling of dislike is in me and I cant blame the other for my feeling.
I have always done everything with my heart, no matter what. I have been picking tomatoes, cleaning toilets, working in a butchery, working at a pharmaceutical, working at a bank, I had like 9 jobs in 5 years and most people didn’t get that. Well the moment I didn’t feel the work anymore I changed. I didn’t give it so long, because I don’t believe in that. When the passion is gone, for me its gone. Same with relationships. You can tell me anything, but if the passion is gone you are like brother and sister. So that is why no matter what I did, I have always done it with my heart, till my heart told me it was over. Especially when I started to work for myself when I was 26 years old. That time I remember that I also wanted change after 7 years because the passion was fading away. People didn’t understand it, because it was such a good company and I had such good life ( in their eyes, a lot of holidays and material stuff) , but still I was not happy. This was the moment we moved to South Africa to start from scratch a guesthouse. I truly loved the fact to begin new and to be creative in every form. To decorate, to put energy in the house and to built. This was the reason why our guesthouse was after a few months always fully booked. People felt the love in the guesthouse and they told me that. And I believe this is the secret of everything, do it with so much love and you will get the love back. If you do it for the money then again the intention is first the money and that is not love. Of course you can ask money, but it should not be priority one. People will feel it when you do it for the money, we all feel the TRUTH. The universe works very magical when you start doing things with your heart and with the knowing you will get what you need in the right timing. Because this is an universal law. You will get exactly what you need in the right timing. We try to control the outcome, the timing, which is logical, but true mastery is to trust and to let go.
So did I study to serve Ibogaine? No. Did I get the trust and outside support to know I can do this? Yes. I got so many shamans and psychics on my path telling me all the time the same thing. You are here to help people to understand their feeling and to feel again. I was really thinking at that time, how? But deep down I always knew if that is meant to be then it will be. Ibogaine came on my path almost 6 years ago and I felt immediately a connection, a deep soul connection. And this is the beauty of my connection with Ibogaine because Ibogaine has activated so much truth and wisdom in me that I found out that I only needed to study my own vibration. That I needed to understand my own triggers, my own feelings in order to understand the outside world. Because one thing I know, the outside is 100% the creation of the inside and how you feel with the outside is the teacher in every way. The moment you become the observer of the outside is the moment you have healed certain parts in yourself. The moment things don’t trigger you anymore as they used to be is the moment you have healed those frequencies in yourself and how beautiful is that. Of course when you feel to go to university then you should do it. But I know you don’t learn at university anything about how to understand your feeling, you don’t learn anything how to clean and clear your pain inside. And definitely they don’t teach you that the outside is a reflection from the inside.
So how do I know how much Ibogaine to give to people, well I feel and I get insights from call it my higher self. I need to feel the energy of the other person. I am a afraid something goes wrong, no. If I feel it will I won’t serve the person this beautiful medicine. It is a trust in myself, in my feeling. My feeling will tell me if it is safe to serve the medicine. It’s a knowing, like a knowing that you know something doesn’t feel good. It’s a knowing that you something goods is going to happen. It’s a knowing that you can cook without a timer. Its reading and understanding energy, frequency. And this is my opinion about life. I feel we need to activate in children this old wisdom, to understand the mirror, to activate them that they do anything what they feel, if they believe it. Not if the outer believes it, but if they believe it. We all have a different truth and we are here to live this truth.
More and more people, especially scientists, doctors, professors are becoming more and more aware that there is so much more in the universe then grades, books etc, because that is all ego. More and more people become aware that wisdom can only be found in the highest frequency, that we can move mountains with this frequency and that is the frequency of love. In order to reach this frequency in your heart, you need to defragment your soul, you have to face all those feelings of conditions, of fear in order to transcend them into love. Plant medicines are great to give you insights about who you are and also how to release blockages. You will always still need to do the work yourself, its not a quick fix. But if you are ready and you feel the calling for certain plant medicines then it is magic. And if you feel fear to drink medicines, then just know the plant mirrors an existing fear in you and this plant can help you release that otherwise it would not have been mirrored. When you face your fear, you transcend your fear. When you choose your fear, you keep your fear and this fear will pop up all the time till you are ready to face it. Now we live in 2020 and the frequency of the earth is getting higher and higher this means so many feelings of fear are being revealed in so many people and so many people don’t know what to do with it. Its just a matter of embracing them and also to feel a way to release them. I mean there are so many ways know to let go of fear, sound healing, plant medicines, breath work, hypnosis, meditation. But its up to you what you feel. We are all projecting our own experiences, but the key is to listen to your own inner voice, as your feeling is and will always be your own guru.
We are here to reveal, we don’t need to fix anything. We are already ONE.
Much love & gratitude
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